Life is Only Pain
by XCharcoal-Smudges
Summary: Stan realizes that he just might be gay, and after Wendy breaks up with him, he decides to test this theory with Curly Goth. Stan/Evan Yaoi


Their relationship was not healthy. Not even in the least meanings of the terms. She had her aspirations and dreams. He was just a jock who had no idea what he was going to do with his life. So after Wendy dumped Stan again, he couldn't really say it shocked him. In fact, if anything, he took it in strides.

See, Stan had his doubt about them, as a couple. Sure everyone had always told them that they were so perfect together, but he just didn't ever feel right in there relationship. Every kiss, every touch, every _almost_ sexual moment, it all felt wrong to him. And he felt disgusted after the fact. What was worse, is that when Wendy wanted some, nothing she ever did to him, or wore, or said, got him hot and bothered. Nothing. But on the rare occasion when Kyle's knee ever got to close to his, tingles would shot up his spine. Not that he felt anything towards his super best friend of all time, just the mere though up a guy touching him, well, it was fire.

But even with all these facts staring him down in the face, the night after he was broken up with, he still wasn't sure why he was his heart picked up the pace when he called Curly Goth asking if he could come over. Or why it jumped into his throat when he had said yes.

Stan couldn't really figure out why he had picked him of all the people to begin his experimentation, but there was just something about the Goth that made him get…excited. See Evan was the only one he really felt comfortable around during his Goth phase. Kinder Goth, or Georgie as insiders knew him as, was just a little too skittish and shy to even talk to him. Henrietta was just a bitch towards him during those times and well, she was girl. Stan had come to the conclusion that girls were just not for him. Dylan scared the shit out of him most of the time, with his overly gruff behavior. And he had heard that after him and Evan had messed around a bit, well a lot, he became protective of the tall male. If Stan didn't want to end up in a body bag, he had better either be really sure about what he was about to _try_ and do, or be really sneaky about it.

It was getting closer to the time he and Evan had agreed on meeting at his place, and Stan was freaking out. He had spent a good bit of the morning going over what he should have worn, then that afternoon reconsidering. He didn't know why he was freaking out so much about this whole thing. But he was. It was just moments before if he didn't leave the house then, he would arrive late, and he was looking in the mirror. "Well Stan Marsh… Looks like you're really about to find out if you are gay or not…" The sentence should have upset him more than it did as he ran his hand through his shaggy black hair, but he wasn't. His oceanic blue eyes weren't showing fear or anything like that. They were just showing his nervousness and excitement. There wasn't much time left and he finally had to leave, but on an impulse before he left he threw a ring of eyeliner around his eyes. And he was gone, driving over to _his _house.

Evan hadn't known what to think when he got a call from Raven…well Stan as he was going by now. He wanted to say he was just indifferent about it, but something in him stirred when he heard the no longer Goth male's voice. He would never admit those feelings that riled up inside him though. No not those feelings of lust that he could deal. Those were and welcome when Dylan decided to show his face. No, the feelings in him were a bit more conformist then that.

"Fuck… Stupid conformist jock! What right does he have calling me up after years of not talking to me and request to see me at my house…? My empty house. What right does he have to make me feel this way… Stan fucking Marsh…why did you ever leave the Goths…?" The tall male was pacing around his room, some angry musician screaming through his stereo. The room was its basic darkness, and he was in his typical black clothes. Everything was the same, even the cane that he carried with him as he went down the stairs to answer, finding Stan standing just on the other. Despite his self control, a fucking conformist smile tugged at his lips. They lost this round as he kept his scowl.

"Raven… I haven't heard from you in years. Judging by the guyliner, you're coming back the 'dark side'?"

Stan started to blush at his comment and glanced away. "Hey to you too…"

Evan couldn't take his eyes off him. Even when he had to, he was still glancing over towards him. His body was even angled towards him after they made it up the stairs and was just standing in his room talking. Stan was standing there nervously, fiddling with his fingers. The small talk was the basics. Stan informed him about Wendy and everything, and Evan informed him about the things the Goths were up to. It was all very…boring. Until Stan finally took a deep breath and sat down on the bed, Evan following suit. The Goth looked at him before sighing lightly. "Raven… You and I both know you aren't here for a social visit. Tell me what is on your mind…and don't you dare tell anyone I was so…_caring_…" Stan looked at him and blinked. He had never said anything like that before. Well not to Stan.

"Well…I might be gay…"

Evan's heart racketed against his chest at those four seemingly innocent words if they weren't paired up in that order. He didn't know what came over him. Suddenly the space between him and Stan was gone, and his lips crushed to the others. Stan was shocked when it happened, but couldn't much complain. In fact it wasn't long before he was kissing back with as much fire as Evan was putting into it. It wasn't long before things got heated and Stan was getting _excited_ but when he felt those spindly finger move from his face and to his shoulders, pushing him back, Stan freaked and broke the kiss.

"W-wait… Evan…I…I just started thinking this… I-"

Evan cut off his words with a kiss before pulling away, his lips tingling and a bit swollen from all of this. He looked down at the male and his intoxicating blue eyes and that same conformist feeling burst into his stomach. He wanted to just shove that feeling aside; in fact that was what he goddamn well did. This was a strict fucking.

"We both know why you are here. You're confused, and the only thing you could completely remember about me his that Dylan and I are fuck buddies. And you want that."

Stan watched him look down at him with that arrogant smirk of his. He couldn't help looking away, his jaw clenched and heat pricking at his neck. He wouldn't look at Evan for a long moment and that just pissed the Goth off. He snatched up the cane from where he laid it on the bed when they had sat and smacked it against his cheek, turning him to look back up to him. Stan flinched at the sting and the sudden growl that popped up from Evan's throat. Hell the growl shocked even him. He didn't know why he cared so much if Stan looked at him. Hell Dylan didn't. But he wanted Stan to look at him. Until he saw the scared look in his eye… Evan moved the cane and leaned forward, attacking his neck now nipping almost roughly, but with a kind of gentle notion to it. After a few moments, he licked on the outside of Stan's ear, enjoying the shiver that raced through his body at that.

"Raven…I'm not going to hurt you… I am going to help you find the real you. The one that is suppressed by the mold of society has forced on you. I am going to make you so much hotter then you are now…"

Stan felt another shiver bolt through his body and as much as he didn't want to admit it, those words sounded really good. He just swallowed hard and sighed hopelessly as Evan ran his hand up his body. How in the world did he do that? Just touch him and make everything below flame up?

"So, time to make a choice. Let me find the real you, or get out of my house and go back to your fucked up closet."

Evan waited for an answer, but he didn't get it verbally. No, he got it when Stan lifted up, straining against the cane in the Goths hand, and kiss him. That wasn't all he did though. He started to buck up, rubbing his hips against Evan's. And though he was fighting it the whole time, he couldn't deny the fact that he was getting hard and that rub was timed and placed just right that it made him moan. But Stan wasn't the one who was leading here. Evan was going to be the one making him moan and beg for more, not the other way around. So as punishment, he bent over and clamped down hard on his shoulder with his teeth, knowing there would be a mark later. He got his satisfaction too when he heard a sharp moan come out of Stan mouth.

It wasn't long until both of their shirts were off, Stan because Evan had torn them off. Their hands were heatedly exploring each other's body, learning their every curve and muscle. Evan raked his black fingers nails down his chest, leaving shallow scratches as Stan lifted up into the gasping lightly. "Who knew Marsh likes it rough." He growled into his ear before yanking his head back by his hair. Stan moaned and bucked up into the Goth which only made him push down with his own hips and rub against him hard. Evan was in complete control.

Stan was tied up against the headboard and Evan was kissing down his front, working on his pants. He could only look down and blush. The Goth was strangely gentle… It was so odd to him. He had only seen the male be rough and cruel towards everyone, even Dylan. So why was he different? Why be gentle with me? Stan was thinking this until his very thought process got cut off and he was filled with nothing but sheer pleasure. Evan was down by his navel, licking around it and in it as he slipped off not only his pants but the boxers as well at the same time revealing his hard on. The Goth just smirked at that and licked right up the underneath Stan's member, all the way up to the head, flicking his tongue right over the slit there. "Hmm, you're very excited Stan… That's…hot…" Evan was just as hard as Stan but right now, he was thinking only of pleasing him. Stan just blushed harder, biting his lip from where he was fighting the moan. Evan noticed this and he did the same thing over before nipping the top of the head. "Moan for me…" He was stroking him firmly and at a rather fast speed as he licked over the head again and again. Stan couldn't hold back the yearning moans even if he wanted to. God, nothing in his life ever felt so good. Nothing, not even when Wendy had touched him down there. He knew then that no girl could ever do that to him.

Evan had his mouth around the whole length, deepthroating him as he hummed just slightly. He would have never gone down on Dylan or anyone else. So Stan should think himself a lucky man. Very lucky. Because just as Stan was getting close, the curly hair male pulled away and actually grabbed some long forgotten lube from his side table. Dylan had gotten it raw, and every time he got it raw. Why the fuck do I even care…? It's just Stan… Just someone I let hold me cane… Who I took care of… That I…I like… Evan shook those thoughts away. He had decided that this was just a fucking and that was what it was.

He took the lube and pours out copious amounts. Evan rubbed it over Stan's entrance, being teasing and careful, probing now and then before slipping his finger in and smirking at the gasp Stan made. In fact, all the sound he made had Evan smirking. Stan was breathing heavily and moaning softly now and then if he got touched just right. It was intoxicating and he wanted to keep it up. To never stop hearing him make those noises. Still, his own hard-on was twitching for relief and the longer he waited, the more painful it started to feel.

Out of his pants in moments, Evan lifted up Stan's legs and spread them so they were now wrapped around his waist. He looked down at the bottom male and smiled… Actually smiled. Stan was just looking up at him with such yearning and desire, basically begging for Evan to slide in with those blue eyes. And he got what he wanted. Stan yelp suddenly though. He hadn't expected it to be so fast, or so painful. Luckily Evan waited a moment for him to get used to the feeling before he moved inside him, thrusting into him slowly over and over again. At first Stan's gasps were those of pain, but as it kept up, they grew more heated and more passionate. They were transformed to the most beautiful moans Evan had ever heard. It really got him going. He started to thrust hard and firmer into Stan, gasping in pleasure when he hit that spot and Stan arched up, tightening around Evan and moaned sharply, whispering Evan's name.

"F-fuck yes…! Evan~! Right there…again right there!" Stan was grasping at the ties that kept him from doing anything with his hands; head tossed back, eyes closed. The pain had morphed in to immeasurable pleasure. It was so much…and it only got better as Evan started to aim right for that spot and hit it time and time again. Stan was moaning nearly nonstop, body humming with so much lust and passion and something else he couldn't quite say. He wasn't questioning it though. Oh no… In fact, he welcomed the feelings. It was the most he had felt alive in a long time.

Evan was right there with him on that very thought. He felt so good, not just fucking Stan, but pleasing him. And he knew he was. The look on the jock's face was priceless to Evan. Really, he would never have thought it would be, but it was. And he knew just how to make it so much better. He reached down between them and grasped Stan's member and pumped it firmly, in opposite times as his thrust. Stan was now in nonstop pleasure, and his moans just ripped up from his throat over and over, screaming Evan's name and that he was close…so close. Good thing to, because Evan was right there with him.

After a few hard thrust, Evan came, hard, deep inside Stan just as he released his load on both of their stomachs. Stan was silent as they climaxed together. It was Evan who was vocal, biting down on Stan's neck as he moaned out his name. Both were panting heavily, even as licked his hand, and pulled out, his cum leaking out and dripping down Stan's inner thighs and ass. He couldn't complain though as the Goth laid beside him. He could believe how good he felt just to have had sex. Stan rolled over slowly, already feeling sore, and looked at Evan. "Well… I know for sure I am gay… and…and nothing…"

And I love you…

Both males had thought the same thing as they kissed before passing out, exhausted, and knowing that wasn't going to be the last time for that night.


End file.
